Let me start this guest post with an honest confession and declaration of interest. I am a professional Dominatrix. A Mistress. A Domme. And that is not just a job for me it is a lifestyle. So let me give you a few tips on what kinky sex is really all about. And I speak from what I would (unusually for me) modestly call a lot of knowledge. I have a very good friend who owns a sex toy shop and website. And the stuff that she sells is terrific. Vibrators, butt plugs, latex, costumes and uniforms, bondage items and tools, riding crops, floggers, feathers on sticks, all that stuff. It is all lovely but with the exception of things that go buzz – you really cannot replicate that with anything else! - I do not need any of it to be the filthiest and kinkiest sexy bitch you have ever even imagined. Actually, to be fair, you have probably never imagined some of the stuff I regard as day to day, but let me move on.
Yes, at my dungeon where my clients visit me I have spent a fortune on equipment and decoration, because it is what clients expect. Many kinksters what the environment as much as the activity, sometimes more. So I have a St Andrews cross, a cage, wall restraints and a whipping bench. And a beautiful rack of different impact toys – about thirty assorted floggers, crops and whips. I also have a cupboard filled with other things such as huge plastic decorators sheets and industrial cling film – use your imagination. But in my personal BDSM sex life, which is at least as kinky as anything I do at work - but with the additional benefit of orgasms for me - I do not need any of the equipment to have a truly outrageous time.
You see, BDSM is really psychological as much as physical. The anticipation of a smack is often better than the event itself. And spontaneity can be an amazing erotic tool. Imagine the dominant woman taking her submissive man by surprise. Instead of getting all “done up” in costumes, she just leans over and whispers gently and quietly in his ear
“Get naked now you disgusting bitch and kiss my feet. Silently.”.
I guarantee an instantaneous erection, and if the woman is really into it, she will also be as excited as all hell. She can then tie him up with his own shirt sleeves or t-shirt. Spank him with her bare hand over her knee, paddle him with a wooden spoon - which also makes a great anal plaything as it has the safety flange built in! But make sure to either burn it or throw it away afterward. BDSM is about power and control, not how much you spent on toys. So use your imagination and your partners too. I You will be surprised how much it can be.